Rom-Com Rewind: Leap Year

I recently had a baby, and one of the only things one can do to keep one's sanity in those first couple of months of sleeplessness, diapers, and screaming, is watch stuff.

So I recently watched Leap Year (2010), starring Amy Adams, Matthew Goode, and Adam Scott.
As a fan of Downton Abbey and Parks and Recreation, this cast sounded great to me, so I decided to give it a shot.

I have regrets. Deep, deep regrets.

Leap Year will make you want to leap off a bridge just to get away from the obnoxious characters.

We are introduced to Amy Adams, control freak career girl. This is a typical rom-com character, but unlike many similar characters in similar movies, there is absolutely nothing likable about this character. She is selfish, rude, and absolutely. Frigging. Stupid. She thinks her boyfriend (played by Adam Scott, except somebody or something somehow sucked every bit of charisma and humor out of him for this role), is going to propose, and when her father mistakenly believes she is already engaged, she does absolutely nothing to dispel this, not even the typical half-hearted, "No, no, not yet... but maybe?" Nope.

By the way, her father is played by John Lithgow, who shows up in only this scene, and it seems like he was in town on a three-hour layover and they had to get the scene in one or two takes before he had to catch his connection. They might have even filmed it in the airport bar, I don't know. John  shows up, ribs Amy on how she's not married yet and he was almost thinking she'd have to do what her grandma did and go to Ireland to propose on February 29th, per obscure Leap Year tradition. Oh, it's such a good thing she won't have to do that, isn't it? That sounds like a TERRIBLE idea.

What a waste of a perfectly good John Lithgow

She goes to dinner and what do you know, Adam Scott (I don't care if the character has a name; he's forgettable), gives her earrings and then leaves early to go to surgery, because this character's one trait is that he is a cardiologist. Well, I guess one of his two character traits.  He is a boyfriend, and a cardiologist. He is so interesting. I will never forget this character and all of his hilarious catchphrases. Anyway, after surgery he's going straight to Dublin for a cardiology conference.

No, Adam. We are not.

So Amy Adams (you know, I'm still in the middle of watching this movie as I write this review and I've already forgotten every character's name. These people, so memorable they are) decides she's going to go to Dublin to propose to him because of that tradition her father conveniently brought up.

So she gets on a plane and starts talking to the guy next to her about her plan and proceeds to talk about herself until the guy passes out, probably from sheer boredom because SHE IS NOT AN INTERESTING PERSON. She's like a pasture where they put charisma out to die. Her shoes (which are fabulous, by the way) are more compelling characters than any of the people in this movie.

This movie's MVP.

So a storm comes up, and in the midst of terrifying turbulence the pilot announces that Dublin's airport is closed and they'll have to reroute to Wales. Instead of responding like a normal human being, Amy freaks out about how she's on a schedule and this can't possibly be happening to her. They land in Wales and she explains to the airport staff that she's going to propose to her boyfriend, so maybe they could do something special just for her to get her there? Of course they can't. Then she finds out the ferry is shut down because HELLO?! STORM! Instead of just sitting out the storm like any reasonable human being,  she hires some fishing boat to take her over, and wouldn't you know it, the storm means she ends up not in Dublin but some tiny village somewhere else in Ireland, where all the people are quirky and Irish.

Then she walks into a bar and meets Matthew Goode. I thought this would be the part where the movie would pick up because if Downton Abbey and The Good Wife are any indication, Matthew Goode could be likable in anything and have chemistry with a pumpkin.

I underestimated how terrible the writing in this movie could get.

Matthew is a total a-hole right from the get-go. She asks for a taxi and instead of saying, "Hey, I could drive you for a modestly exorbitant fee,"he hands her a card and makes her call him when she's already there standing in his own bar, then flat out refuses to drive her there because he hates Dublin, apparently. In this universe, hating a place means you automatically get to be a total, no-holds-barred jerknugget to anyone who wants to go there. And wouldn't you know it, this pub is the only place with a room for rent that she can stay. She proceeds to wreck it through her own total idiocy in a "comedic" sequence not worth describing before his money problems come up conveniently, causing him to agree to take her to Dublin.

To tell her that he's going to take her to Dublin, he barges into her room while she's in her underwear, and... well, it's super weird. He doesn't acknowledge in any way, shape, or form, that she is in her underwear and he has done something rude. Like, there isn't even a hint of cognition in his eyes. He just barges in, tells her, ducks out, ducks back in to tell her something else, and leaves. Wh...whaaat? I'm not even sure what they were going for with this scene. It does not indicate any level of attraction. Or common manners. Or anything. It just happens, and it's weird, and it's not the behavior of a roguish charmer or a rough-around-the-edges country man or whatever they're going for with this character. It indicates disorder-level social unawareness, if anything.

In the car the two have one of the most unpleasant exchanges two adults have ever had outside of a youtube comments section. I lost count of how many times during the course of this movie I said, "What is WRONG with these people?!" They constantly insult and belittle each other. She throws his cassette tape out the window, prompting him to stop to retrieve it. Then some cows get in their way, and she resorts to (I kid you not), calmly explaining to the cows about how she's on a schedule, and could they possibly get out of the way so she can get to Dublin and propose to her boyfriend?

What. the everloving. frick.

Probably the only good line in the whole movie. 

The cows move, but she steps in poop (not the shoes! They were my favorite character!). Matthew, instead of acting like a grown freaking man, laughs derisively at her like he's in the frigging 10th grade. Then through some shoe scraping she somehow breaks the parking brake or puts the car in neutral (don't ask me how this painfully contrived thing occurs) and the car rolls backwards into a pond.

Car people, maybe you could explain to me how this could even happen.

Oh, crap, now we have to WALK to Dublin!

Now comes their deeply unpleasant trek across the Irish countryside. Her suitcase gets stolen, and Matthew, like a total dipstick, doesn't bother to warn her even though he sees it coming and gives her a halfhearted, "I wouldn't do that" as she waves down the van full of guys who are going to steal it. Then he laughs as they throw her suitcase in the van and drive away. This is not a typical rom-com "these characters who can't stand each other are going to go through adverse circumstances together and fall in love." This would do far better as a psychological thriller where these two people torment each other until eventually one kills the other in a bloody rage. The way these people treat each other is not funny and endearing. It is unpleasant, rude, and incredibly off-putting. Amy, instead of doing what any normal, reasonable human being would do, consistently pursues the most idiotic conceivable course of action, and Matthew insults her and laughs at her like the biggest jerk you ever met. Oh, but don't worry, she does her share of belittling. THIS IS APPARENTLY CHEMISTRY. LOOK AT ALL THE CHEMISTRY.

Actually, yeah, probably, if you replace "your personality" with "our personalities."

Seriously, these people hating each other is the most believable part of the film, because they are thoroughly awful people who any normal human being would be hard-put NOT to hate.

Anyway more contrived stuff happens, she gets her suitcase back, they miss a train, have more contrived, insufferable dialogue, it's a blast. Then they find themselves at a bed and breakfast where, wouldn't you know it, they have to pretend to be married. Matthew tosses a coin for the bed, and no joke, she actually falls for the "heads I win, tails you lose" trick that frigging EVERYBODY'S older brother or uncle or grandpa or friend pulled; literally ANYBODY who had contact with people as an elementary schooler has heard this one. She doesn't figure it out for at least half and hour, because SHE IS A TOTAL MORON. He gets the bed and she has to sleep in the shower. So nice, this guy. I've fallen head over heels in love with him already. When she FINALLY figures it out she gets him to agree to switch with her because liars shouldn't get to sleep in the bed.

They decide to cook dinner because those quaint Irish innkeepers want to feed them tripe, which is stomach! Like, eew! There is a really stupid scene where Amy can't figure out that in order to turn a large carrot into a medium carrot she can just break the carrot. Literally. This is a scene.

How do you carrot? Plz hlp

It's supposed to be a way to get her character to talk about how not being precise and hoping things would work out led to family hardship when she was younger, and that's why she's so anal about everything. Boo-hoo, lady. Hardship is not a valid excuse for stupidity and rudeness. "Oh, my life was so hard and that's why I'm a rude, inflexible, selfish moron." 

So they're eating dinner with the couple running the place, and another couple, and they all start kissing. It's so awkward, and not in a "oh man, this is hilarious, now our protagonists are going to have to kiss!" kind of way. The owners share a kiss over being together 44 years, then the other guests share an EXTREMELY long, awkward, passionate, and thoroughly off-putting kiss. Normal people do not do this, writer of this movie. I know it would be convenient for your wish-fulfillment fantasies if they did, but normal middle-aged couples do not, in fact, make out passionately in front complete strangers.

Then the two older couples start pressuring Matthew and Amy to kiss. It is not charmingly awkward; it is deeply uncomfortable. They pressure them WAY TOO MUCH. Mr. Innkeeper literally says, "Kiss the girl."

The innkeeper, apparently.

So Matt and Amy have a great kiss (I assume; I was only half-watching at this point because I was already writing this blog about how stupid this movie is). Then they go spend the night in their room and end up sharing the bed because the shower is wet. They look really uncomfortable. This is chemistry.

MORE CHEMISTRY THAN YOUR SCREEN CAN HANDLE.

They try to walk to Dublin from there and end up crashing a wedding. I don't know why they're allowed to stay for the reception, don't ask, these scenes are all so forgettable.

This happens. It's kind of cringe-inducing. Rip off Hitch, much? Anyway WHY ARE WE SPENDING TIME WITH THESE PEOPLE?!

They dance, more "chemistry" happens, We find out Matthew is a jerk because his heart was broken once. Make puppy dog eyes, Matthew; that's really all you're here for in this movie. Amy manages to injure the bride with her shoe.

Me whenever those shoes are on the screen.

At this point I am rooting for Matthew and the shoes to ride off in the sunset together. Or heck, there's two of them. Adam gets one. Matthew gets the other. Amy puts on some practical effing shoes for once in her life so that she can walk COMFORTABLY across Ireland. Everybody's happy.

Okay, anyway, They get to Dublin, By the way, here's a handy dandy map of their journey, courtesy of  this blog

As you can see, none of this movie makes any sense.

.Amy finds out Matthew didn't want to come because his ex-fiance lives here. Okay, still not a valid excuse to be a jerk to a perfect stranger, but whatever, this means he's damaged and hurting and that makes it all okay. Obviously by now they've fallen in love. She barfs on his shoes at one point. It's romantic. Adam and Amy reunite, and Adam proposes to her, right in front of Matthew. Cue Matthew's puppy dog eyes.

The man was made for puppy dog eyes.

They go back to their respective lives. Matthew holds a fundraiser to save his bar, and apparently buy a whole lot more tables and chairs and hire a cooking and waitstaff. It's kind of miraculous, actually, that even though he BARELY scrapes by at the end of the fundraiser, he somehow manages to transform his struggling bar into a bustling restaurant.

Amy and Adam move into their apartment and have a house-warming party, during the course of which Amy finds out that Adam only proposed because they wouldn't have gotten this prestigious new apartment without some kind of marital-ish commitment. He probably wouldn't have proposed otherwise. So she calls off the engagement. The screen goes to black

TEN YEARS LATER

Or something, there is no time frame on this. The scene opens on Matthew's bustling restaurant, and someone sends back a plate of food with a complaint. Matthew goes out to confront the whiner, and it turns out that it's Amy. Then, in front of this crowded restaurant full of strangers, she confesses her love.

Why. Why would you do this. Why would anyone do this.

She confesses to this guy she knew for, like, three days, then had no contact with for, I assume, weeks, if not months.  I say this because it takes a long time to organize fundraisers and hire new employees, or move all your stuff into a new apartment and then plan a formal housewarming party with dozens of your friends, This would take at least a month, if we're being generous. PLUS when she shows up in Ireland she's wearing a summer dress, and I assume you wouldn't do that in spring in Ireland. So I'm assuming it's June or July. AT LEAST three months later.

So, she confesses her love to this guy she barely knew and has not had contact with for months. His response? Without a word or a gesture or anything, he disappears into the back. Wait, I just rewatched the scene to make sure. He actually smiles and shakes his head before leaving without a word.  Okay. Anybody in their right mind would take that as a no, and for the first time in the whole movie, she does what any normal human being would do, and assumes this means no. Bravo. Welcome to the human race, Amy. And she leaves.

She heads over to a cliff, and then we discover why the movie is REALLY called Leap Year.

No, of course that's not what happens. But still...

Anyway, no, she does not jump. Matthew shows up and of course he proposes to her, because these two people are just so good together.

I give it a year, tops.

This is the note the movie ends on:

Anna: Are you sure she's gonna make it?

Declan: Remember, she's a classic. It's good as new even after some crazy woman tried to push her off the road.

Anna: I didn't try to push her off the road. I was scrapping cow poo off my shoe, because some rude man didn't help me with the cows.

Declan: Only because someone was being pig-headed couldn't wait.

Anna: Shut up.

By the way I just realized these characters are named Anna and Declan.

You know that couple who everyone knows is pretty unhappy because they never compliment each other, and even when they are feeling happy and in love they just can't stop ribbing at each other and calling each other out for old mistakes? That couple that, even when they're happy, seem incapable of saying anything nice or complimentary to or about each other? I mean, we all know a couple like that, right? And we would all agree that being around them can be rather uncomfortable and unpleasant, right?

This is that couple. Even when they start to fall in love, they never, never say a single nice thing to each other. This entire movie is so uncomfortable and unpleasant. The actors are doing their best, but the script is just DOA. It's terrible. I don't know how many other ways I can say it. Even Matthew Goode actually admitted in a 2010 interview that it was a terrible script and that he only took the job because it was close to home and he was getting paid. I hope the paycheck was worth it for all of these actors because they had to slog through one of the worst rom-com scripts in existence.

Check it out if you like, but don't have anything within arm's reach that could break your screen when you inevitably start throwing stuff at it.

A Theology of Guilt (or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Lord)

I am a missionary in recovery.

Now, before you read some kind of condemnation into that, I loved being a missionary. I love and respect all of my friends who are in missions.

Three years ago, I wrapped up my ministry in one part of Japan, got married, and moved to another part of Japan. I had a kid. I got a job as an English teacher. And for the first time in my entire life, I was not doing any kind of ministry. No big volunteer commitments. No striking up conversations about Jesus with perfect strangers. My hands were full juggling husband, baby, home and job.

And I felt like I was dead.

Having grown up in the church I've been drilled with the message that Christians must serve and evangelize, that we have a burden, a responsibility to spread the name of Jesus to everyone around us. A well-meaning friend once told me a story about a guy (an acquaintance of hers? A friend? A mere anecdote? I can't remember) who saw a young woman on the street and suddenly felt the urge to go tell her about Jesus. But he didn't want to bother her, he felt too shy or something, whatever. He decided not to do it. And then the next moment he saw her get hit by a bus. The moral of the story is that WE CANNOT MISS A SINGLE OPPORTUNITY TO EVANGELIZE AND SPREAD THE GOSPEL BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE DYING ALL AROUND US AND DID YOU CATCH THE URGENCY BECAUSE THIS IS IN ALL CAPS WITH BOLD LETTERING AND YOU ARE A TERRIBLE CHRISTIAN IF YOU DO NOT SHARE THE GOSPEL WITH EVERY SINGLE PERSON YOU HAVE A CHANCE TO TALK TO.

I don't mean to make light of a serious issue, I really don't. But the guilt I felt after being told that story, the crushing and horrifying weight of responsibility for the eternal souls of the people around me, became at times almost debilitating. A person's eternity is their decision, but how can they believe if they have not heard? So every time I sat on a train and chose to listen to music instead of forcing a conversation with the person sitting next to me, I felt guilty. This is while I was serving as a missionary in a foreign country. I felt so guilty for time I spent alone in my room on my days off. I was a missionary but I was not doing enough. I was never doing enough and people were going to go to hell because of it.

Let me stop and switch gears for a second. You know the Great Commission? Matthew 28:18-20? Mark 16:15? I'm going to assume you go to church, so yes, yes you have. You may have heard it more than any other verse besides John 3:16. We evangelicals, we love the Great Commission.

Let me ask another question. Indulge me. Who, specifically, is Jesus talking to when he gives the Great Commission? The previous verses in both Matthew and Mark tell us who was present when Jesus gave this command. The Eleven.

Isn't it weird that even though Paul says in 1 Corinthians 15:6 that Jesus appeared to over five hundred brothers (not just people, but believers, remember that), that Jesus would give this evangelistic command, a command which is given almost supreme importance in our church today, not to all those five hundred brothers, but rather to the eleven people who had been his core group?

I looked through the other verses on evangelism that get quoted. "Do the work of an evangelist." Addressed specifically to Timothy. Or how about Ezekiel 3:17-20? "Son of man, I have appointed you a watchman to the house of Israel; whenever you hear a word from My mouth, warn them from Me. "When I say to the wicked, 'You will surely die,' and you do not warn him or speak out to warn the wicked from his wicked way that he may live, that wicked man shall die in his iniquity, but his blood I will require at your hand. "Yet if you have warned the wicked and he does not turn from his wickedness or from his wicked way, he shall die in his iniquity; but you have delivered yourself. Again, when a righteous man turns away from his righteousness and commits iniquity, and I place an obstacle before him, he will die; since you have not warned him, he shall die in his sin, and his righteous deeds which he has done shall not be remembered; but his blood I will require at your hand."

Oooh, that one... that hits me right in the guilts. It always has. Except... is this God talking to me? To his followers in general? Contextually, no. God is talking specifically to Ezekiel. Poor Ezekiel. That is a ton of responsibility. Responsibility that, I will put to you, is not yours, fellow believer.

Even as I type this I feel like I'm expounding some sort of blasphemy, and if you feel that way about it, well... I get it, I really do. But I've been looking carefully at the commands given specifically to believers, in general. For example, 1 Peter 3:15, which says, "But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect."

Note how the impetus for this evangelistic conversation is not actually on the believer. He doesn't say, "Make sure you talk to everyone you know about the reason for the hope that you have." He says, "be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you." And also note the "gentleness and respect" part, because I could go on a huge tangent about how aggressive and nasty American Christians can be toward nonbelievers. We kind of have a reputation for it. But I digress.

I also noticed that every time Paul talks about evangelism, he uses "I" or "we," as in he and his missionary companions. I mean, read 1 Corinthians 5, which has a lot of verses about evangelism. Paul uses "we," and at first I thought maybe the "we" could refer to us all as Christians, but then occasionally he will address his audience, the church in Corinth, as "you." So I went back and read more of 2 Corinthians, and I realized that when Paul says "we," he is usually referring to himself and Timothy, his partner in ministry. Now, there are lots of good verses here where Paul uses the "we" that we, as Christians, can use as encouragement. But that is not the same thing as taking it as a Biblical command that we should feel guilty for failing to uphold.

So could it be that we have over-emphasized a small part of our calling, and in so doing, have distorted what it means to be a Christian? I looked at commands to Christians in general. There's a whole lot of "stand firm and hold on to the teachings we passed on to you," "live quiet and peaceable lives," "work with your hands and mind your own business," "never tire of doing what is right," "live a holy life," "forgive," "love," "pray," "do good to all people,""make the most of every opportunity," and in general lead respectable, peaceful lives so that no one can accuse you of wrongdoing. Be prepared to answer. But I couldn't find this urgent mandate to go force conversations about Jesus with people. Even the "let your light shine" passage (Matthew 5:13-16) which tells us to be salt and light... Think about it. A city on a hill does not push itself over to the city next door; people know about it just because it is there. A lamp on a lamp stand does not personally go to everyone in the house to make sure they know it is shining. It shines, and they know. Salt does not invade all the rest of the food to turn it into salt. Salt simply exists, and by virtue of its presence, the food is made better.

So this pushy evangelism thing that I have been hearing about my entire life... is it truly a Biblical picture of evangelism? Or could it be that the people who are comfortable with just striking up a conversation about Jesus with the cashier at Wal-mart or standing up in a pulpit to preach the Word of God, can do so because they have a spiritual gift, a calling to it? Could it be that the reason I have felt so uncomfortable with forcing conversations about Jesus is because it is not how I was meant to be "salt and light"? Could it be that when 1 Corinthians 12 talks about spiritual gifts and the different parts of the body of Christ, that perhaps that means some people are meant to be the mouth and others are meant to be something else (like, I don't know, the liver? Livers don't talk to anybody but they're pretty important, filtering out toxins and stuff)?

Could it be that this crushing guilt I've felt over evangelism, and the listlessness and emptiness I felt when I started going about my daily life without doing any real "ministry," is not what God wants for me? When I finished being a missionary I was overwhelmed by a sense of loss and lost-ness. I had NO IDEA how to be a Christian, what it meant to be a Christian, if I wasn't serving a church in some tangible capacity, aside from giving offering, because that's just money and you're just using it to buy peace of mind, to ease you from the guilt you feel for not serving on top of giving! (Okay, I have no idea if anybody ever said that but it was the underlying message I had taken away from a lifetime in church.)

But recently, after a closer examination of the epistles, I have realized that God can be pleased if you just lead a quiet, peaceful life, avoiding evil and working hard. My whole view of how to be a Christian was recently revolutionized when, for the first time, I really noticed 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12: "Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may gain the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody." Seriously, go read the whole book of 1 Thessalonians. It tells you all about how to be a Christian and not once does that involve going door to door passing out tracts or forcing a conversation with a complete stranger. Or Titus 3:14, "Our people must learn to devote themselves to doing what is good, in order that they may provide for daily necessities and not live unproductive lives."

There are so many more, but do you know the conclusion I've come to?

God is glorified through the simple act of living a respectable life.

You have no idea how freeing that realization has been for me. God does not blame us or put responsibility on us for the eternal destiny of every single person we encounter.

Our responsibility begins and ends with our own lives. That's all.

That's all.

I cried when I came to that realization. I'm on the brink of tears right now, because for my whole life I have felt so guilty for all the people I wasn't talking to, all the evangelism I wasn't doing, without realizing that part of it was because I had been taught a theology of guilt, a theology which tried to turn my deeply introverted self into something it was not. God created me as an introvert. He gave me a personality which is deeply uncomfortable with the idea of striking up a conversation cold with a complete stranger, and that is okay, because that is not what God has commanded me to do. I don't have to feel guilty about it.

You know what you should feel guilty for? Sin. And nowhere in the Bible does it say that sitting on an airplane next to a stranger and not striking up a conversation about Jesus is a sin. So maybe if you are being a preached a theology that makes you feel guilty for that, you are being preached a distorted scripture. It is not giving you freedom, and the Spirit of the Lord is not there, because "where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." (2 Cor. 3:17) If it is making you feel afraid that you are not doing enough, not saying enough, not being enough, it is not part of God's message of love, because as 1 John 4:17-18 says, "Love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment." If it is making you feel burdened and weighed down, it is not from God, because "This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome." (1 John 5:3)

God's command for you, as a Christian, is to follow Him. That's all.

And that is enough.


Here are a couple of great, thoughtful essays on this topic: The Silence of Paul on Evangelism
Wretched Urgency: The Grace of God or Hamsters on a Wheel?

Two Months Later

A brief summary of the past two months: Summer School went well, Tokyo was awesome, Laura left, I went a little crazy but God helped me find my marbles again, and I've settled into the everyday life of ministry in Japan.

I'll post a little later with a more detailed summary, and some pictures. :)

Four Weeks In

Sorry I haven't been updating lately. Apparently, people actually read this here blog.

Last week we had English Summer Camp. It went really well. We had 20 kids the first day, and 10 or so the second day. We had four chapel times and two English lessons. It was challenging at first; I was teaching the more advanced class, which ranged anywhere from kindergarteners to 5th graders. My first lesson was too simple for the older kids, but for my second lesson I arrived at something sufficiently challenging to keep them interested: verb tenses. Evil things, those.

The theme of camp was, "Honor your father and mother, and love your neighbor as yourself." (Matt. 19:19) We couldn't think of a good children's song that illustrated that point, so I pretty much wrote a new one based on the song that goes, "Love, love, love, love, the gospel in a word is love," and so on. If you haven't heard it, it's surprisingly gloomy. So I kind of took that concept, switched the lyrics around, put it in a major key, gave it motions, and voila! Children's song.

This week is our first week of English Summer School. Every morning, we start out at 10 AM with a bunch of songs in English, then move on to a Bible story, an hour long English lesson, lunch, craft and/or game, and then free time until their mothers pick them up. So far it's been really fun. The kids are all beginner, so we're going over the alphabet and other basics. I love the kids we've had so far; they've been eager to learn.

On Wednesdays, we have summer school at a local park. It's hot, but fun. This park is huge; I think they said it was 3 square kilometers. It's got a huge indoor play area, with an air-conditioned room where we have our English lesson, then a small area where the kids can play in a shallow pool. There are outdoor playgrounds, rice fields, apple groves, and the occasional goat pen. It's fairly awesome. The kids love our park days, and we usually have the most kids at those days.

On weekends, Laura and I usually take the train to Utsunomiya to go shopping and maybe bump into the occasional other foreigner. This last Saturday we met an Irishman and a Frenchman who are here to teach English. It's interesting being a foreigner in Japan; it's like you're instantly part of some club. When you see each other, it's weird not to acknowledge one another's presence. There's this instant bond of, "We're both different from everybody else." It's nice, but some of the other foreigners we've met have been kind of creepy. I'm still holding out hope that I can make some other foreign friends while I'm here.

Anyway, we've got two more days of English Summer School this week, then we have next week off. We're going to stay at the home of some church members for the first part of the week, then on Wednesday, we're going to visit Tokyo! I'm excited. I'll let you know how all that goes.

Ta!

Language Stories

When the Swedish missionaries who founded this church thirty or forty years ago first came to Japan, they did not know Japanese, nor did they know any Japanese people. It took faith and courage, and God blessed their mission; the church they founded still stands, and is staffed entirely by Japanese nationals.

However, they had some linguistic difficulties. On one occasion, the Swedish missionary was riding the bus. Back then, when one was riding the bus, he had to call out to the driver to stop ("Oroshite, kudasai!") when they got to his destination. This missionary was riding the bus, and when they arrived at the destination, he hurriedly called out, "Koroshite, kudasai! Ima, koroshite!"

He was one letter off. Everyone on the bus was both surprised and frightened to hear this strange man shouting, "Kill me, please! Kill me now! Kill me right here!"

Two Weeks In

Today makes two weeks since Laura and I stepped off the plane. It feels like it's been longer.

When we first got here, I was surprised at how my proficiency level in Japanese had jumped. However, it soon became apparent that it is still woefully insufficient. I understand so little still, but I've learned a lot since I got here. I have to remind myself that it's only been two weeks. When I remind myself of that, I feel confident that my proficiency level will be enough to carry a decent conversation by the time December rolls around.

We've been teaching some private lessons here and there, but the real work begins next week. We'll have English Summer Camp, which is an overnight thing. I'll be teaching the more advanced students. We'll have fun, I think.

After Summer Camp will be English Summer School, for which I am also excited, although we've done very little planning for that as yet.

These past two weeks, God has been drilling me with the parable of the Unmerciful Servant. I have been struggling with impatience with my partner, Laura, because of her inexperience and temperamental differences. She's a more slow, steady, thoughtful type of person, and that's been something of an irritant to me. But God's been using that parable to change me and remind me that it's not fair for me to be so critical and unmerciful, and that He expects me to be more gracious than that. As soon as I told Laura I was having that struggle, the feelings of irritation and impatience dissipated.

Pray for us, that God would keep us healthy and peaceable and give us the creativity we need to teach well.

Albuquerque

Friday two weeks ago, Laura and I were talking about the possibility that she might not be able to go. The numbers were daunting, and not very hopeful. She still needed to raise about $1500 to be able to get to Japan.

That Sunday, we spoke in both services of First Christian up there in Albuquerque. And God did something amazing.

We expressed in the early service that Laura had this need, and, I kid you not, not five minutes after we sat down, a woman I don't even know came to us and handed Laura a check for $1500.

One thing I have been telling myself for months when the numbers just seemed too scary is this: There is no recession in God's economy. And what I told Laura when she was starting to freak out about the numbers was this: If God wants you there, He gets you there.

The transition is no longer as scary as it once was. God would not call me to something I could not handle with His help. We leave in three days.

Geronimo!