So I recently watched Leap Year (2010), starring Amy Adams, Matthew Goode, and Adam Scott.
As a fan of Downton Abbey and Parks and Recreation, this cast sounded great to me, so I decided to give it a shot.
As a fan of Downton Abbey and Parks and Recreation, this cast sounded great to me, so I decided to give it a shot.
I have regrets. Deep, deep regrets.
Leap Year will make you want to leap off a bridge just to get away from the obnoxious characters.
We are introduced to Amy Adams, control freak career girl. This is a typical rom-com character, but unlike many similar characters in similar movies, there is absolutely nothing likable about this character. She is selfish, rude, and absolutely. Frigging. Stupid. She thinks her boyfriend (played by Adam Scott, except somebody or something somehow sucked every bit of charisma and humor out of him for this role), is going to propose, and when her father mistakenly believes she is already engaged, she does absolutely nothing to dispel this, not even the typical half-hearted, "No, no, not yet... but maybe?" Nope.
By the way, her father is played by John Lithgow, who shows up in only this scene, and it seems like he was in town on a three-hour layover and they had to get the scene in one or two takes before he had to catch his connection. They might have even filmed it in the airport bar, I don't know. John shows up, ribs Amy on how she's not married yet and he was almost thinking she'd have to do what her grandma did and go to Ireland to propose on February 29th, per obscure Leap Year tradition. Oh, it's such a good thing she won't have to do that, isn't it? That sounds like a TERRIBLE idea.
She goes to dinner and what do you know, Adam Scott (I don't care if the character has a name; he's forgettable), gives her earrings and then leaves early to go to surgery, because this character's one trait is that he is a cardiologist. Well, I guess one of his two character traits. He is a boyfriend, and a cardiologist. He is so interesting. I will never forget this character and all of his hilarious catchphrases. Anyway, after surgery he's going straight to Dublin for a cardiology conference.
So Amy Adams (you know, I'm still in the middle of watching this movie as I write this review and I've already forgotten every character's name. These people, so memorable they are) decides she's going to go to Dublin to propose to him because of that tradition her father conveniently brought up.
By the way, her father is played by John Lithgow, who shows up in only this scene, and it seems like he was in town on a three-hour layover and they had to get the scene in one or two takes before he had to catch his connection. They might have even filmed it in the airport bar, I don't know. John shows up, ribs Amy on how she's not married yet and he was almost thinking she'd have to do what her grandma did and go to Ireland to propose on February 29th, per obscure Leap Year tradition. Oh, it's such a good thing she won't have to do that, isn't it? That sounds like a TERRIBLE idea.
What a waste of a perfectly good John Lithgow
She goes to dinner and what do you know, Adam Scott (I don't care if the character has a name; he's forgettable), gives her earrings and then leaves early to go to surgery, because this character's one trait is that he is a cardiologist. Well, I guess one of his two character traits. He is a boyfriend, and a cardiologist. He is so interesting. I will never forget this character and all of his hilarious catchphrases. Anyway, after surgery he's going straight to Dublin for a cardiology conference.
No, Adam. We are not.
So Amy Adams (you know, I'm still in the middle of watching this movie as I write this review and I've already forgotten every character's name. These people, so memorable they are) decides she's going to go to Dublin to propose to him because of that tradition her father conveniently brought up.
So she gets on a plane and starts talking to the guy next to her about her plan and proceeds to talk about herself until the guy passes out, probably from sheer boredom because SHE IS NOT AN INTERESTING PERSON. She's like a pasture where they put charisma out to die. Her shoes (which are fabulous, by the way) are more compelling characters than any of the people in this movie.
This movie's MVP.
Then she walks into a bar and meets Matthew Goode. I thought this would be the part where the movie would pick up because if Downton Abbey and The Good Wife are any indication, Matthew Goode could be likable in anything and have chemistry with a pumpkin.
I underestimated how terrible the writing in this movie could get.
I underestimated how terrible the writing in this movie could get.
Matthew is a total a-hole right from the get-go. She asks for a taxi and instead of saying, "Hey, I could drive you for a modestly exorbitant fee,"he hands her a card and makes her call him when she's already there standing in his own bar, then flat out refuses to drive her there because he hates Dublin, apparently. In this universe, hating a place means you automatically get to be a total, no-holds-barred jerknugget to anyone who wants to go there. And wouldn't you know it, this pub is the only place with a room for rent that she can stay. She proceeds to wreck it through her own total idiocy in a "comedic" sequence not worth describing before his money problems come up conveniently, causing him to agree to take her to Dublin.
To tell her that he's going to take her to Dublin, he barges into her room while she's in her underwear, and... well, it's super weird. He doesn't acknowledge in any way, shape, or form, that she is in her underwear and he has done something rude. Like, there isn't even a hint of cognition in his eyes. He just barges in, tells her, ducks out, ducks back in to tell her something else, and leaves. Wh...whaaat? I'm not even sure what they were going for with this scene. It does not indicate any level of attraction. Or common manners. Or anything. It just happens, and it's weird, and it's not the behavior of a roguish charmer or a rough-around-the-edges country man or whatever they're going for with this character. It indicates disorder-level social unawareness, if anything.
To tell her that he's going to take her to Dublin, he barges into her room while she's in her underwear, and... well, it's super weird. He doesn't acknowledge in any way, shape, or form, that she is in her underwear and he has done something rude. Like, there isn't even a hint of cognition in his eyes. He just barges in, tells her, ducks out, ducks back in to tell her something else, and leaves. Wh...whaaat? I'm not even sure what they were going for with this scene. It does not indicate any level of attraction. Or common manners. Or anything. It just happens, and it's weird, and it's not the behavior of a roguish charmer or a rough-around-the-edges country man or whatever they're going for with this character. It indicates disorder-level social unawareness, if anything.
In the car the two have one of the most unpleasant exchanges two adults have ever had outside of a youtube comments section. I lost count of how many times during the course of this movie I said, "What is WRONG with these people?!" They constantly insult and belittle each other. She throws his cassette tape out the window, prompting him to stop to retrieve it. Then some cows get in their way, and she resorts to (I kid you not), calmly explaining to the cows about how she's on a schedule, and could they possibly get out of the way so she can get to Dublin and propose to her boyfriend?
What. the everloving. frick.
What. the everloving. frick.
Probably the only good line in the whole movie.
The cows move, but she steps in poop (not the shoes! They were my favorite character!). Matthew, instead of acting like a grown freaking man, laughs derisively at her like he's in the frigging 10th grade. Then through some shoe scraping she somehow breaks the parking brake or puts the car in neutral (don't ask me how this painfully contrived thing occurs) and the car rolls backwards into a pond.
Oh, crap, now we have to WALK to Dublin!
Car people, maybe you could explain to me how this could even happen.
Oh, crap, now we have to WALK to Dublin!
Now comes their deeply unpleasant trek across the Irish countryside. Her suitcase gets stolen, and Matthew, like a total dipstick, doesn't bother to warn her even though he sees it coming and gives her a halfhearted, "I wouldn't do that" as she waves down the van full of guys who are going to steal it. Then he laughs as they throw her suitcase in the van and drive away. This is not a typical rom-com "these characters who can't stand each other are going to go through adverse circumstances together and fall in love." This would do far better as a psychological thriller where these two people torment each other until eventually one kills the other in a bloody rage. The way these people treat each other is not funny and endearing. It is unpleasant, rude, and incredibly off-putting. Amy, instead of doing what any normal, reasonable human being would do, consistently pursues the most idiotic conceivable course of action, and Matthew insults her and laughs at her like the biggest jerk you ever met. Oh, but don't worry, she does her share of belittling. THIS IS APPARENTLY CHEMISTRY. LOOK AT ALL THE CHEMISTRY.
Seriously, these people hating each other is the most believable part of the film, because they are thoroughly awful people who any normal human being would be hard-put NOT to hate.
Actually, yeah, probably, if you replace "your personality" with "our personalities."
Seriously, these people hating each other is the most believable part of the film, because they are thoroughly awful people who any normal human being would be hard-put NOT to hate.
Anyway more contrived stuff happens, she gets her suitcase back, they miss a train, have more contrived, insufferable dialogue, it's a blast. Then they find themselves at a bed and breakfast where, wouldn't you know it, they have to pretend to be married. Matthew tosses a coin for the bed, and no joke, she actually falls for the "heads I win, tails you lose" trick that frigging EVERYBODY'S older brother or uncle or grandpa or friend pulled; literally ANYBODY who had contact with people as an elementary schooler has heard this one. She doesn't figure it out for at least half and hour, because SHE IS A TOTAL MORON. He gets the bed and she has to sleep in the shower. So nice, this guy. I've fallen head over heels in love with him already. When she FINALLY figures it out she gets him to agree to switch with her because liars shouldn't get to sleep in the bed.
They decide to cook dinner because those quaint Irish innkeepers want to feed them tripe, which is stomach! Like, eew! There is a really stupid scene where Amy can't figure out that in order to turn a large carrot into a medium carrot she can just break the carrot. Literally. This is a scene.
It's supposed to be a way to get her character to talk about how not being precise and hoping things would work out led to family hardship when she was younger, and that's why she's so anal about everything. Boo-hoo, lady. Hardship is not a valid excuse for stupidity and rudeness. "Oh, my life was so hard and that's why I'm a rude, inflexible, selfish moron."
How do you carrot? Plz hlp
It's supposed to be a way to get her character to talk about how not being precise and hoping things would work out led to family hardship when she was younger, and that's why she's so anal about everything. Boo-hoo, lady. Hardship is not a valid excuse for stupidity and rudeness. "Oh, my life was so hard and that's why I'm a rude, inflexible, selfish moron."
So they're eating dinner with the couple running the place, and another couple, and they all start kissing. It's so awkward, and not in a "oh man, this is hilarious, now our protagonists are going to have to kiss!" kind of way. The owners share a kiss over being together 44 years, then the other guests share an EXTREMELY long, awkward, passionate, and thoroughly off-putting kiss. Normal people do not do this, writer of this movie. I know it would be convenient for your wish-fulfillment fantasies if they did, but normal middle-aged couples do not, in fact, make out passionately in front complete strangers.
Then the two older couples start pressuring Matthew and Amy to kiss. It is not charmingly awkward; it is deeply uncomfortable. They pressure them WAY TOO MUCH. Mr. Innkeeper literally says, "Kiss the girl."
The innkeeper, apparently.
So Matt and Amy have a great kiss (I assume; I was only half-watching at this point because I was already writing this blog about how stupid this movie is). Then they go spend the night in their room and end up sharing the bed because the shower is wet. They look really uncomfortable. This is chemistry.
MORE CHEMISTRY THAN YOUR SCREEN CAN HANDLE.
They try to walk to Dublin from there and end up crashing a wedding. I don't know why they're allowed to stay for the reception, don't ask, these scenes are all so forgettable.
This happens. It's kind of cringe-inducing. Rip off Hitch, much? Anyway WHY ARE WE SPENDING TIME WITH THESE PEOPLE?!
They dance, more "chemistry" happens, We find out Matthew is a jerk because his heart was broken once. Make puppy dog eyes, Matthew; that's really all you're here for in this movie. Amy manages to injure the bride with her shoe.
Me whenever those shoes are on the screen.
At this point I am rooting for Matthew and the shoes to ride off in the sunset together. Or heck, there's two of them. Adam gets one. Matthew gets the other. Amy puts on some practical effing shoes for once in her life so that she can walk COMFORTABLY across Ireland. Everybody's happy.
Okay, anyway, They get to Dublin, By the way, here's a handy dandy map of their journey, courtesy of this blog
.Amy finds out Matthew didn't want to come because his ex-fiance lives here. Okay, still not a valid excuse to be a jerk to a perfect stranger, but whatever, this means he's damaged and hurting and that makes it all okay. Obviously by now they've fallen in love. She barfs on his shoes at one point. It's romantic. Adam and Amy reunite, and Adam proposes to her, right in front of Matthew. Cue Matthew's puppy dog eyes.
As you can see, none of this movie makes any sense.
The man was made for puppy dog eyes.
They go back to their respective lives. Matthew holds a fundraiser to save his bar, and apparently buy a whole lot more tables and chairs and hire a cooking and waitstaff. It's kind of miraculous, actually, that even though he BARELY scrapes by at the end of the fundraiser, he somehow manages to transform his struggling bar into a bustling restaurant.
Amy and Adam move into their apartment and have a house-warming party, during the course of which Amy finds out that Adam only proposed because they wouldn't have gotten this prestigious new apartment without some kind of marital-ish commitment. He probably wouldn't have proposed otherwise. So she calls off the engagement. The screen goes to black
TEN YEARS LATER
Or something, there is no time frame on this. The scene opens on Matthew's bustling restaurant, and someone sends back a plate of food with a complaint. Matthew goes out to confront the whiner, and it turns out that it's Amy. Then, in front of this crowded restaurant full of strangers, she confesses her love.
She confesses to this guy she knew for, like, three days, then had no contact with for, I assume, weeks, if not months. I say this because it takes a long time to organize fundraisers and hire new employees, or move all your stuff into a new apartment and then plan a formal housewarming party with dozens of your friends, This would take at least a month, if we're being generous. PLUS when she shows up in Ireland she's wearing a summer dress, and I assume you wouldn't do that in spring in Ireland. So I'm assuming it's June or July. AT LEAST three months later.
So, she confesses her love to this guy she barely knew and has not had contact with for months. His response? Without a word or a gesture or anything, he disappears into the back. Wait, I just rewatched the scene to make sure. He actually smiles and shakes his head before leaving without a word. Okay. Anybody in their right mind would take that as a no, and for the first time in the whole movie, she does what any normal human being would do, and assumes this means no. Bravo. Welcome to the human race, Amy. And she leaves.
She heads over to a cliff, and then we discover why the movie is REALLY called Leap Year.
No, of course that's not what happens. But still...
Amy and Adam move into their apartment and have a house-warming party, during the course of which Amy finds out that Adam only proposed because they wouldn't have gotten this prestigious new apartment without some kind of marital-ish commitment. He probably wouldn't have proposed otherwise. So she calls off the engagement. The screen goes to black
TEN YEARS LATER
Or something, there is no time frame on this. The scene opens on Matthew's bustling restaurant, and someone sends back a plate of food with a complaint. Matthew goes out to confront the whiner, and it turns out that it's Amy. Then, in front of this crowded restaurant full of strangers, she confesses her love.
Why. Why would you do this. Why would anyone do this.
She confesses to this guy she knew for, like, three days, then had no contact with for, I assume, weeks, if not months. I say this because it takes a long time to organize fundraisers and hire new employees, or move all your stuff into a new apartment and then plan a formal housewarming party with dozens of your friends, This would take at least a month, if we're being generous. PLUS when she shows up in Ireland she's wearing a summer dress, and I assume you wouldn't do that in spring in Ireland. So I'm assuming it's June or July. AT LEAST three months later.
So, she confesses her love to this guy she barely knew and has not had contact with for months. His response? Without a word or a gesture or anything, he disappears into the back. Wait, I just rewatched the scene to make sure. He actually smiles and shakes his head before leaving without a word. Okay. Anybody in their right mind would take that as a no, and for the first time in the whole movie, she does what any normal human being would do, and assumes this means no. Bravo. Welcome to the human race, Amy. And she leaves.
She heads over to a cliff, and then we discover why the movie is REALLY called Leap Year.
No, of course that's not what happens. But still...
Anyway, no, she does not jump. Matthew shows up and of course he proposes to her, because these two people are just so good together.
I give it a year, tops.
This is the note the movie ends on:
You know that couple who everyone knows is pretty unhappy because they never compliment each other, and even when they are feeling happy and in love they just can't stop ribbing at each other and calling each other out for old mistakes? That couple that, even when they're happy, seem incapable of saying anything nice or complimentary to or about each other? I mean, we all know a couple like that, right? And we would all agree that being around them can be rather uncomfortable and unpleasant, right?
This is that couple. Even when they start to fall in love, they never, never say a single nice thing to each other. This entire movie is so uncomfortable and unpleasant. The actors are doing their best, but the script is just DOA. It's terrible. I don't know how many other ways I can say it. Even Matthew Goode actually admitted in a 2010 interview that it was a terrible script and that he only took the job because it was close to home and he was getting paid. I hope the paycheck was worth it for all of these actors because they had to slog through one of the worst rom-com scripts in existence.
Check it out if you like, but don't have anything within arm's reach that could break your screen when you inevitably start throwing stuff at it.
Anna: Are you sure she's gonna make it?
Declan: Remember, she's a classic. It's good as new even after some crazy woman tried to push her off the road.
Anna: I didn't try to push her off the road. I was scrapping cow poo off my shoe, because some rude man didn't help me with the cows.
Declan: Only because someone was being pig-headed couldn't wait.
Anna: Shut up.
By the way I just realized these characters are named Anna and Declan.
You know that couple who everyone knows is pretty unhappy because they never compliment each other, and even when they are feeling happy and in love they just can't stop ribbing at each other and calling each other out for old mistakes? That couple that, even when they're happy, seem incapable of saying anything nice or complimentary to or about each other? I mean, we all know a couple like that, right? And we would all agree that being around them can be rather uncomfortable and unpleasant, right?
This is that couple. Even when they start to fall in love, they never, never say a single nice thing to each other. This entire movie is so uncomfortable and unpleasant. The actors are doing their best, but the script is just DOA. It's terrible. I don't know how many other ways I can say it. Even Matthew Goode actually admitted in a 2010 interview that it was a terrible script and that he only took the job because it was close to home and he was getting paid. I hope the paycheck was worth it for all of these actors because they had to slog through one of the worst rom-com scripts in existence.
Check it out if you like, but don't have anything within arm's reach that could break your screen when you inevitably start throwing stuff at it.
