God, I ache for people to believe in you. I wish it was easier. I wish some Christians wouldn't be jerks. I wish the Church wouldn't get caught up in doctrines and disputes, and would love like you commanded it to.
I wish you would show yourself clearly. I wish it didn't seem so stupid sometimes to believe in You. But you don't make sense. You want the stupid people, the sell-outs, the losers, the failures, the disabled, the handicapped, the ones society has given up on.
You don't make sense. You ask me to die, so that I can live. Your tell me to surrender so that I can be victorious. You tell me to be foolish, so that I can be wise.
I ache for those who don't believe in you. I ache for the church to be one, for us to love one another the way you intended. I ache for our hearts to be broken by your heartache.
I ache for the children who will search for you their whole lives and not even know it.
I ache for your return. But I ache for the time that is running out before that happens. I ache for this nation, Father, and all the people I see walking down the street who do not know you. You know every name, and you ache for your name to be written on their hearts.
I never expected love to be this painful, but you would know about that better than I, wouldn't you?
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